It’s the silly season again so over the next few days I’ll be looking for a triathlon to compete in. One that doesn’t have too many hills would be nice. Thinking about this reminded me about the first time I tried a triathon and the leverage I created to make sure I actually did it. I told people about it, signed up and paid for it and then decided to raise money for orphans in Tanzania.
Then the local paper wrote a story about it and that was enough for me to make sure I had to go through with it. Read the feature below and think what external pressure would you have to put into place to ensure you went through with your most important goals.
When a determined life coach signed up to race in a triathlon he was hoping everything would go swimmingly.
But there was just one problem with his charity fundraising stunt –this time last year he could not swim properly.
Former Warwick School teacher Iain Smith, from Rural Way, Redhill, sets himself a seemingly impossible goal every year, and this Sunday he is aiming to compete in a triathlon to raise money for African orphans.
“I couldn’t do more than 10 metres of front crawl without coughing and spluttering to a halt,” he said.
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“I had to get swimming lessons in Donyngs to learn the technique and how to breathe properly.
“I could manage breaststroke but this was a race and I didn’t want to be the slowest swimmer in the pack, moving like a great big frog.
“So my first goal was to learn front crawl without drowning.
“I swallowed so much water in training that I feel personally responsible for people’s water bills going up.”
The former English teacher at Warwick School, in Noke Drive, Redhill, has been setting himself yearly “life-goals” since 2001.
Mr Smith said: “I started by doing the Great North Run, and since then I’ve written a 100,000- word novel, bought buy-to-let properties, and started an international charity called Raincatcher.”
Inspired by his charity work that helps fund water projects in Africa, Mr Smith’s goal last year was to organise a trip for Year 11 students from his school to Tanzania.
“Students from Warwick School travelled with me for three weeks.
“We had a great time doing lots of charity work, and now we are trying to raise money to pay for the schooling of 20 orphans,” he said.
The father-of-two is hoping to raise sponsorship money through completing the triathlon at the Crawley K2 leisure centre, which includes a 600-metre swim, 25-kilometre bike ride and a six-kilometre run.
“I’ve been training six days a week since last September,” he said.
“I’m not expecting to win. I just want to finish in a time that’s respectable for me and raise a good sum of money.
“Luckily you get the swimming over and done with first when you’re strongest.
“If they did it the other way round then I think there’s a good chance I would drown.”
Anyone wishing to support Mr Smith can donate by posting a cheque made payable to Raincatcher to Woolpits, Bletchingley Road, Nutfield RH1 4HN.
I just had to share this! How fantastic to be inspired enough to create such a wonderful parody. What would inspire you to be as creative, organised and playful?
Sky News, the BBC and this article from the Telegraph all highlight the excellent Welsh parody of the hit song Empire State of Mind that has become an overnight sensation on the internet.
The original song by rapper Jay-Z extols the virtues of living in New York. But the spoof version features actors singing about their love of Newport in South Wales.The spoof version of Empire State of Mind received almost 200,000 hits within just two days of being placed on YouTube.
Like the music video for the original track, the joke offering is shot in black and white with its stars singing about famous landmarks and cultural clichés.
However, rather than the Manhattan skyline as a backdrop, Newport rapper Alex Warren and singer Terema Wainwright celebrate the sights of the Welsh city.
Rather than a grand piano in Times Square, Wainwright plays a battered synthesizer on the riverfront and croons in a thick Welsh accent: “In Newport, concrete jumble nothing in order, not far from the border.
“When you’re in Newport. Chips, cheese, curry makes you feel brand new, washed down with a Special Brew.”
The video was produced by director Morgan-Jane “MJ” Delaney, 24, from London, who said she “can’t believe” how quickly the video has taken off.
She said: “We came up with the idea when we were singing along with Jay-Z and trying different words in place of New York – Newport was by far the funniest.
“My mother is Welsh so she put me in touch with my uncle’s, wife’s, sister, who lives in Newport, and she came up with some great ideas for the lyrics.
“We wanted to make something people from Newport would be proud of and we have had some really positive feedback.
“I was hoping for 10,000 hits at the most but it’s grown so fast and we can’t believe how quickly it has taken off.
“I hope Jay-Z and Alicia get to see the video as long as their publishing people don’t force us to take it offline. It’s only tongue in cheek.”
The spoof song is titled Newport (Ymerodraeth State of Mind). Ymerodraeth is the welsh word for empire.
MJ came up with the idea in May this year and wrote the lyrics with friends Leo Sloley and Tom Williams before filming with Warren and Wainwright in June.
The song follows in the footsteps of hip hop group Goldie Lookin Chain, from Newport, who shot to fame in 2004 for their comedy take on Welsh society.
MJ includes references to famous Welsh celebrities and boldly states: “Bugger off Alicia, Shirley Bassey is our queen.”
The first verse continues: “On the dance floor raving, pack of 16 Benson, someone fighting bouncers – turns out it’s Gavin Henson.”
One of the choruses pays tribute to Newport’s Chinese twin town and presenter Josie D’Arby.
“In Newport, twinned with Guangxi Province in China, there’s no province finer. Josie D’Arby’s from Newport. Yes it’s strange we didn’t know either, thank you Wikipedia.
“Let’s say some more Newports, Newports, Newports.”
Another mocks the Gwent city’s well-documented problems with traffic congestion: “In Newport, access from the A4042, traffic will enrage you, on your way to Newport.
“Our shopping centre is quite new, big leeks will inspire you. Repeat to fade Newport, Newport, Newport.”
The track has been aired on BBC Radio 1 and tweeted by celebrities including Lily Allen, Gavin and Stacey comic Rob Brydon, and comedians Phil Jupitus and Dom Joly.
While Jay Z has a wealth of world-famous landmarks to rap about, Warren even stoops to a reference about the offices of the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency.
He sings: “Yeah you know the D to the V the LA. Dad said ‘Get a job with them’, but Swansea’s too far away.”
Later he pays homage to Welsh celebrities, rapping: “Tom Jones, Steve Jones, Zeta-Jones, traffic cones, if you come and visit, use the designated parking zones.”
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” – Hamlet Act II, sc ii
Shakespeare gave this line of perceptual acuity to his ‘glass half empty’ Danish Prince a few hundred years ago. Can’t help thinking that the VW version is a bit more punchy though. Which do you think will last the test of time?!
An amnesty is defined as a pardon for offences previously committed. Today I want you to give yourself an amnesty on your past.
To be able to start afresh you need to clear the decks and open the doors to truth and reconciliation. Remember what has happened before and agree to forgive yourself for those past mistakes.
List as many events from the past as you can that still hold you back in some shape or form. Things that happened when you were a kid, at school, in your teenage years, at university, at work, with friends, with family, on holiday. Whatever it was, get a pen and pad and make a list.
These are all things that went before. They’re what you did back then. These actions are in the past.
Coaching professionals are helping people make major decisions, improve skills, even raise their kids.
Here is a great article from today’s Los Angeles Times explaining how life coaching can help so many people improve their lives.
If you want to plant a garden, cook what you grow, find a husband, be a better husband, get a baby to sleep, get along with a teenager, get that teenager into college, get a divorce or lose 20 pounds, you don’t have to go it alone. There’s a coach to help you find your way just about anywhere you’d like to go.
Muddling through on our own doesn’t seem to be much of an option today. The urge to do things perfectly — or as close as possible — and the fear that we’re not up to the task has opened the field of coaching in myriad subjects, from coaching high-level executives in time management to coaching parents about how to communicate with their nannies.
“I think it’s an offshoot of an evolved and specialized world. There are fewer generalists and more specialists in everything. You can find the person who is the best bathroom caulker instead of just finding a handyman,” said Evan Marc Katz, a dating coach in Los Angeles.
If you are not satisfied with any aspect of your life, type it into Google and a coach is there to help you, he said.
“We live in an age when there are experts everywhere,” said Ada Calhoun, whose recent book, “Instinctive Parenting,” tries to get parents to rely on themselves. “You want to trust that somebody else knows.”
And she understands the impulse: “Having a kid is just so overwhelming. They’re so vulnerable. People get really scared, and there’s an industry preying on their fears,” Calhoun said by phone from New York.
Insecure and ill-prepared parents — particularly those who live far from family — may be especially needy. They can hire coaches to help them give birth, breast-feed their babies, get them to sleep through the night, find the perfect preschool. Calhoun knows of a sleep coach who charges $1,000 a night.
To some extent, whatever our age, we just can’t help ourselves.
“I believe that as human beings, we have an innate desire for perfectionism,” said Michael Hyde, a professor at Wake Forest University and author of the new book, “Perfection: Coming to Terms With Being Human.”
The desire to get better “appeals to something that is so fundamental to who we are as creatures,” he said.
Sometimes that’s to be applauded: It would be nice if your surgeon is perfect on the day you’re getting a new hip. But that desire “can also turn rotten,” Hyde noted. “To the extent you want to have a perfect look as that has been defined by the culture, you might become anorexic or bulimic, and you might die.”
A world that can seem like it’s changing before our eyes also can fuel a desire for a coach.
A couple of generations ago, most people made three or four important decisions that guided their lives, said Giovanna D’Alessio, president of the International Coaching Federation and a coach for companies and individuals in Europe. Today’s complex world requires decisions all the time: Should I move? Where? Is it time for me to change jobs? What’s the best way to invest for retirement? Will my child thrive in his school? All these questions put people in unfamiliar territory, she said.
Katz sees a paradox of choice that leaves many people frustrated. “In today’s society there are more choices, but nobody’s happier,” he said. Too many choices often lead to discontent, he said.
Novices might hear the word “coach” and think football. But athletic coaches generally are in charge, setting the goals and the path to victory. With other sorts of coaches, it’s the client who sets the goals.
The International Coaching Federation said there are 16,000 coaches worldwide, hundreds of schools offering training, as well as an endless variety of subjects: health, relationship, spiritual, creativity, business, career, acting, sewing, gardening, dating, parenting, divorce.
Coaching isn’t therapy, D’Alessio said. It often is very practical, focusing on actions a person can take to reach goals. Unlike therapists, coaches don’t focus on the childhood experiences that might be the root of the way a person lives or feels.
There’s also a difference between getting help from a coach and getting help from family and friends, several coaches said. Loved ones might be influenced by the past and long-held expectations. “Their advice is based on their point of view,” D’Alessio said. You shouldn’t hear a coach say, “If I were you, I would blah-blah-blah,’” but you’ll hear that from a friend, she said.
Coaching relies on a set of skills that lay people also can use: active listening, asking powerful questions, communicating directly, said Vikki Brock, a business and personal coach since 1995 who wrote about the profession for her doctoral dissertation.
It emerged in part from the human potential movement, in which people who were functioning well wanted to do better, and from corporate leadership training programs, Brock said. The field grew as people moved away from families, churches and other supportive institutions and became more isolated from humans and more connected to the Internet, Brock and D’Alessio said.
The career coaching business is booming at the moment, as people lose their jobs or retire early and don’t know how to enter another profession — perhaps one that speaks to their soul more than to their bank account, Brock said from her office in Ventura.
The ICF has a credentialing process for coaches and a code of ethics. But anyone can put out a shingle saying they’re a coach. D’Alessio and others recommend that people interview several coaches before choosing one.
The cost of hiring a coach ranges widely, from less than $50 an hour to more than $200.
Coaching is a sign of the times, said Mike Taylor, an “old hippie” and master gardener who works as a garden coach in Camarillo.
“What’s happened to our family structure? I saw my grandmothers at least once a week. They passed along a lot of cultural lore,” he said.
The goal for a coach “is to give people the knowledge they need to be successful at what they want to do. And if we had a different society, we wouldn’t need a coach,” Taylor said. Your grandmother would fill that job.
It’s not just the desire for knowledge that motivates people to turn to coaches, however.
Dave Herz is the founder and president of Vive Inc., a company that coaches teenagers and their parents. He said he sees many families who turn to coaching because they feel isolated. He and the other coaches at Vive work to help families create a web of support and learn to reach out to one another.
“I think in our society, we’re striving and hungry for connections with individuals — a boss, a grandparent,” he said. “That is hard-wired in human beings.”
Lisa Shield, a dating and relationship coach in Los Angeles, has been at it for seven years. Some of her clients, she said, have been through therapy, have “figured out why they are the way they are, [but] they still haven’t gotten the success they want.”
And that’s a good place for a coach to come in, she said.
“They have dreams and goals and in the midst of their busy hectic overfilled lives, they need someone to help them put together a game plan. And then they need someone to hold them accountable” for following that plan, she said.
“This really is an amazing process,” Shield said. “People make radical changes through coaching. They transform their lives. And I think that’s why it’s growing.”
Lots of people ask about motivation. How to get motivated to do something, and then to keep going. Before looking at any motivating techniques or strategies I always ask clients to consider their values.
This is because all the actions you take have to be in line with your values. It’s true. You’ll know if you have acted out of line with your values because you will feel incredibly strong negative emotions. For example, if you lied to someone you care about you would end up feeling guilty. That’s because you’ve undermined your own value of honesty.
So how do you get to know what your values are? If you had a choice of choosing a best friend, from scratch, what would you look for in that person? Would you want them to be like? List down some of the qualities they would have. Here’s a few that you might consider: truthful, loyal, fun, passionate, agreeable.
Write your own list.
Now look at your list. What you’ve actually done is catalogue your own values. Your list shows what’s important to you. Now look at what you’re trying to achieve. If isn’t in line with your values then you’re not going to be motivated do it. For you to create excellence in your lives you must have an understanding of your values.
